Hi, school!

Teachers are splurging on a $5.00 pedicures, parents are picking over the sale rack at Shopko, and students are treating ''classes" like a disgusting swear word. It's that time again.

time to go

back

to

school.

For those of you who are not high school age, you can tell by the cheesy back-to-school-shopping commercials where the kids go to K-Mart and suddenly emerge on the first day of school looking like rock stars. I went to K-Mart once, but apparently, their instant-fashion-model-machine was on the fritz, and all they had left were some ill-fitting hello kitty shirts.

in the spirit of the new year i thought it would be appropriate to make a list of all the wisdom i have acquired as a high school student.

1.When someone says "I like your outfit" it doesn't actually mean they like your outfit.

2. "Forever" lasts about two weeks. (encompassing everything from "best friends forever" to "i'll love you forever")

4. When you figure out which teachers don't actually read your essays, every class can be a creative writing class!

5.if you think that cheap cologne will remedy the smell of your B.O. after gym.....you're very wrong.

6. cheerleader wears sweats = cute and athletic. Geek wears sweats = gross and lazy.

7. always have something to fiddle with when you go down the hall in the middle of class. otherwise you have to do the awkward half glance-quarter turn move when you pass the only other person in the hall. fake texting is acceptable.

8. bands you must say you like = Led Zepplin, the Beatles, Bob Marley. Bands you may never admit to liking = Justin Bieber, The Jonas brothers, anyone that started out on Disney Channel.

9. when conversing with boys you have to use terms that they will understand, like "Call of Duty" "Football" or "eating". avoid words like "relationships" or "feelings"

10. just smile, you'll get through it.

ahhhhhhhhh high school. can't live with it, can't go to college without it.




this is going to be a great year.