it's time for Halloween, pumpkin

ahhhhhh yes.
we come upon the most unnecessarily disturbing holiday in America......

hALloWeEn.

(imagine some eerie woooo-ooooo-ooo sounds for dramatic effect)

I have a confession to make..............
i have never understood Halloween.

Wasn't the original purpose of this day to celebrate the lives of our ancestors? I'm pretty sure that if MY ancestors saw me running through the streets with a fake hatchet through my head, they would be pretty ashamed. the same goes for zombie princesses, dead grooms, and that one kid who always dresses up as a bunch of grapes. One of my teachers said that the costumes originated when people started dressing up as their ancestors on Halloween.

are you really trying to tell me that your great-great grandfather was a crayon?

actually, crayons i don't mind so much. it's the really gory things that bother me.
yes, yes i was THAT KID. that kid who always dressed up as something princess-y or beanie baby related. i was the kid who went upstairs during the scary movie and watched The Princess Bride with their friend's parents. (actually, that did happen). i was the kid......well i still AM the kid that refuses to go to a haunted house.

my first argument is the aforementioned hatred of senseless scaring. the second is logic.

since when do spiders symbolize death? did you know that nobody has died from a spider bite in over 10 years? last year, however, a man tripped over his beard, fell down, broke his neck, and died. that means that in 2010, facial hair was more fatal than spider bites.

speaking of spiders, what is it with spider WEBS? why is every house on la-la street adorned with six packs of "spider-webbing"? if spiders aren't scary, webs are even less so! i was driving to school the other day, and i saw a house covered in red spider webs. HOW DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?? are the owners trying to be extra-scary by implying that someone died....and happened to cover the spider webs in blood??
very believable.
especially since most of the web was on the roof.



ok, ok, i could go on about Halloween, but i accept that there are some Halloween lovers out there who might get upset. if it's any consolation, i LOVE when little kids are all decked out as pumpkins or ducks. it's adorable.


in short, yes, i love the candy, but all in all


i have a BONE to pick with Halloween.