What an Eggventure!

Dear mysterious benefactor,

I have come up with a few possibilities of why you felt it necessary to leave egg on my car.

1. you have heard through the grapevine that i sometimes have an un-suppressible urge for omelets, and you wanted to give me enough eggs to make a few, without giving away your secret crush for me.

2. you were graciously trying to give my car one of those all-natural egg-white perms.

3. you own a small chicken farm, and stole all the eggs at fresh market to create scarcity. when you saw a cop driving down my street, you panicked and threw the eggs out of the nearest window (where they happened to land on my car.)

4. you have just come from a small town overseas, where throwing eggs at one's vehicle is a sign of friendship.

5. you were teaching your child to spell. and in desperation to make it fun, started having your child spell words with egg yoke on people's cars.

6. you are protesting salmonella, and wanted to raise awareness.

7. you have kindly noticed that i don't get enough exercise, and thought that having me scrape egg for half an hour would be a good solution.

8. you were trying to re-create Jackson Pollock's painting "Number 5" with a new, creative medium. (eggs)

9. you were trying to help my car catch bugs by coating it in a sticky substance (just in case i'm one of those people who collects bugs of different sizes, and frames them in glass)

10. in case of zombie apocolipse, you wanted me to be safe (because everyone knows that zombies are horrified of eggs)

I'm sure that your reason for leaving egg on my car falls into the aforementioned senarios, and i thank you very much for your deep concern. And next time, leave the bacon.

love,
Hope