When you turn six, you are so excited because you've waited your whole long life to be able to go to big-kid school, and kindergarten is finally here!
when you turn twelve you are excited because you get to exit baby school, and join the big leagues of junior high! the smells of B.O, the flirting, the cafeteria stains that look they've been there for 85 years...you're practically a grown up.
when you turn sixteen, you FINALLY get your driver's license. driving to McDonalds at 10:30, cruising with your friends around the neighborhood, and did i mention DATING?!? *(oh whatevs, it's nbd. i'm like totes independent.)
when you turn eighteen, you wish that you could put on your flowered jumper again, and crawl into a corner. why? you're independent. you're an adult. you're a real big-kid.
let me tell you.
there is a huuuuuuuuge difference between feeling independent and being independent. there is a massive separation between feeling grown up, and being a grown-up. there are oceans between "having an adult conversation" and being an adult, having a conversation.
when you're in the midst of a "big-kid" illusion, you feel like you're on top of the world, but somewhere deep inside you, you know that if you have a major mess up, you have the legal right to hide behind your mommy. When you're actually an 18 year old, you suddenly don't need anyone to sign your permission slip, you have to start paying for stuff, and a juvenile detention center? you can forget about it pal, cause you're tried as an adult!
sure, sure. my friends gave me the typical "hurry and do something illegal" jokes on the day before THE DAY, but it didn't lessen the blow that now, i have to tie my own shoes. (figurativly speaking of course. i learned how to tie my shoes early in life.)
i'm sure there will be days when this little 18 will come in handy (curfew? what curfew?) but at the moment, i feel more like getting my blankie than going to the bank-ie.
maybe eighteen will be fun.
maybe i'll go hang gliding, or snorkeling in bio-luminescent waters, or hike to mount Everest, or win a Nobel prize, or find the cure to foot fungus, or write a novel, or paint a masterpiece, or go to every continent, or invent a a teleporter, or eat a peanut butter sandwich (yeah, right) or sew a dress!.
in times of trouble, I like to turn to a wise doctor who once said
"oh the places you'll go!"
now that i'm eighteen.
(*teenage translator for adults:
"nbd"- no big deal