Sunday, September 30, 2012

bands and a-band-onment. (see numbers 6 and 7)

I have been officially initiated into college.

You may be asking - the last month doesn't count becauuuuuuse.......?

because I hadn't had a few key experiences that validate a college status. As of last night I fulfilled the last one, and BAM! college student. the requirements are as follows

1. Sleep somewhere other than your dorm room. 

see post about squaw peak.

2. Eat ice cream and cheeze-its for dinner.  


3. Be the recipient of a cheesy pick up line. 

also check. If you are a boy, this requirement is that you have to USE  a cheesy pick up line. If you'd like some options feel free to borrow
- If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought
-Are you tired? because you've been running through my mind all day
-Your beauty just blinded me so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons
- I'm glad I have a library card, because I'm checking you out
-Are you a parking ticket? because you've got FINE written all over you.

please note that none of these are effective. use at your own risk.

4. Have your day brightened when a random guy gives you a flower. 

o.k. not a requirement, but it was definitely a plus.

5. take a test at the testing center. 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and yet, check.

6. Have your room at the parent's house completely refurbished and transformed as if you're never coming home again. 

In my case, this includes the addition of three new pieces of significant furniture. Baby twins, and the mama. A.k.a my sister and her boys. So my ex-living space is now decorated with binkies, changing tables, hand sanitizer, diapers, and onesies with monkeys on the bum.

7. Go to a concert. 

This is the one. the last requirement that has -within the last 24 hours- been fulfilled  I went to a massive concert that showcased
the wombats 
Imagine dragons 
shrink the giant 
the used 
dead sara 
neon trees 
and group love 

If you are not familiar with most of these bands...........

It's ok.

neither was I.

But out of these I recommend the Wombats, Imagine Dragons, Group love, and Neon Trees. Although If you would like to discuss the pros and cons, you may have to raise your voice a few decibels as my ears have recently aged thirty or so years.

To get the full experience we were usually in the VERY front at the VERY center right next to the stage, and let me just say that I could have done without bathing in other people's sweat, getting tossed around like a rag doll, and having my poor feet enthusiastically stomped on.

On the upside, we met, talked to, and gave most of the bands hugs. (of which I have had a shortage at college)

So now I feel legit. A real college student. I can lift my head up high when I swipe my meal card. I am no longer living in a world where I go home all the time, eat my mom's food, walk the dog, hang out with my family, and drive around Salt Lake.



Monday, September 24, 2012

The day I realized Beautiful

*the following is my personal essay for Honors writing. It's main point is not to be funny, but I think it was an important element from my life. Enjoy mis amores! 

The Day I Realized Beautiful
  Would you like to play a game? It’s called High school. The rules are always changing, the dice are always loaded, and grades, friends, teachers, popularity, --pretty much every component of high school-- can be leveraged by playing your cards right.
Some strategize in favor of a personable attitude. Others make use of knowing exactly when the teacher is and is not going to check for homework. The elite few wear the SBO sweater “get out of jail free” card to leave class early.  There are all kinds of hands you can play but half way through high school, I realized that in the game of life, “pretty” is an ace in the deck.
You should probably know that I was raised blind. Not literally (although that would have made a fantastic narrative) but figuratively in that I didn’t pay much attention to beauty. My elementary school class had basically the same 26 kids from kindergarten to sixth grade, so by the time we were aware of, or placed any kind of importance on physical beauty, we knew each other well enough to get judged on it.
Consequently, junior high was a whirlwind of girls stowing lip-gloss into their trainer bras, guys sporting high end basketball shoes, and enough cheap cologne in the hallway to intoxicate a small whale. It was a materialistic side of life that I had been relatively underexposed to. Luckily however, I found a group of girlfriends who didn’t put too much stock into the “pretty” complex, so neither did I.   
Freshman. Sophomore. It was junior year in high school. My small circle of girlfriends had eventually expanded to the typical guys-and-girls group, and as luck would have it, we got some of the more popular boys. I was sitting next to three of them (due to the lucky guy-heavy class list that every girl prays for) the day I realized pretty.
 My A.P. English teacher had put in a documentary for us to watch and analyze the ethos, pathos, and logos presented in the film. I sat at my three-guys-one-girl table taking notes, when my ears heard something that my eyes would never forget.
Trevor: Dude, why are they interviewing your girlfriend?
A chorus of male voices chanted the testosterone-specific “ohhhhhhhh” in recognition of a good diss.
Mark: well where’s yours? That fat chick in the yellow dress. I think you’re going to have to buy a bigger car, cause I don’t think she’ll fit in your Subaru.
Trevor: Yeah right, like I’d ever date her. I’d have to be blind. And retarded. And don’t pretend like you didn’t think the chick in the yellow dress wasn’t hot. We all know you had a thing with Samantha Jameson in 6th grade.
Mark: oh man. She was obsessed with me. She like stalked me.
James: Yeah. Remember when she drew a picture of you guys kissing in her planner and someone found it?
Mark: that was so creepy. And how she wears those cat ears?
Trevor: I think she’s trying to seduce you, man. She uses about a pound of make-up.
James: I hate it when girls do that. It’s so ugly!
Trevor: Except Kimmy. She (he gave a meaningful look) can definitely pull it off.
There were affirmative grunts and knowing head nods.
Mark: Don’t tell me you’re cheating on that girl on the movie. I think she wanted to take you out for a hamburger later.
Trevor: more like a triple cheeseburger. Eating it would probably be her exercise for the day.
They all laughed so I guess, to them, it was a joke. Just another way to sit through 89 minutes of repetitive interviews and poor back lighting, but to me it was the first time that beauty had really struck me as an indispensable characteristic of acceptance. I suddenly felt self-conscious, trying to work the puzzle pieces of the information they had just given me into a picture of self-awareness.  I began to wonder if I was too ugly or too fat or too anything else to be liked, or even accepted by the guy-friends who were so critical of the girls in their two dimensional world.
From then on out, I listened closely for some other criteria on which they judged girls, but ultimately, all they would talk about was “pretty.”   
I tuned in more closely to my girlfriends as well, and began to notice that 99% of the compliments they gave were related to some aspect of “pretty,” and how most of the insecurities they expressed, even jokingly, were about being ugly or undesirable.  
Between the physical critiques of girls from my guy friends, and the incessant appearance-chatter form my girlfriends; I slowly began to decipher, and eventually speak the language of “pretty”
The Language of pretty is similar to English, except that instead of the most common word being “The” or “A” the most common word in the language of pretty is “than.” Dick is better looking THAN Jane. Jane is uglier THAN Dick. See Dick smile. See Jane try to impress Dick with her charming personality, but it doesn’t work because Dick is too consumed with beauty and doesn’t notice anyone without a small nose and naturally high cheekbones.
The other main difference between English and “pretty” is the use of suffixes. The most common suffixes in English are probably “ed” or “ing.” (RunnING, smilING, laughING, listenED, pardonED, attendED.) The most common suffixes in Pretty are “er” and “est” (loveliER, cutER, bettER, prettiEST, hottEST, happiEST,)
My speech became so polluted with speaking “pretty” around my friends, that it’s the language I began to think in. My mind was saturated in THANs, ERs and ESTs. Compliments became the currency for my self-esteem, and I eventually adopted the standard I so hated.
Obviously I realize now that this was an unacceptably shallow, flawed, and harmful way to establish self-awareness, but when everything is about the way you SEE things, you paradoxically become more and more short-SIGHTED.
In retrospect, I think I compare my former thought process to this analogy. If you base your happiness on how many elephants you own, then you’ll never be happy because elephants aren’t legal pets in America. It’s the same concept with beauty. It’s just ridiculous to base your happiness on something you will never achieve. And that doesn’t really matter much or make sense anyway.
Being immersed in the culture of pretty was exhausting. There is always someone prettier THAN you. You are never the cutEST female on the premises. And in the culture, if either of these things are true, you are deemed by default lessER than someone else, and consequently more unhappy. 
A side effect of living in the pretty.
When your mind has marinated in “pretty” sewage for so long, it’s hard to be anything but unhappy and discontent.
But then came the day I realized Beautiful. A catalytic moment that I can’t even put my finger on. It wasn’t a specific event, or cutesy Young Women’s quote on matchy-matchy paper, it was just the day that I began to see how beautiful things could be when they weren’t pretty.
A garbage pile in a museum titled “Future,” a necessary but painful truth, a fast food worker who took pride in his job, a laugh that sounded like someone was sawing a log. These were all encompassed in the realm of Beautiful, and yet contradicted the standards of “pretty.”  
As my standard for the world shifts from pretty to beautiful, my standard for people is too. It adds so many components to someone’s worth other than how attractive they are. Intelligence, kindness, compassion, hilarity, honesty, creativity, determination, endurance, generosity, humility…a whole new side of life is introduced.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for ever having entered the “pretty” culture. It was such a waste of life, and I was so unhappy that I often wish that I could do my junior and senior years all over again. But then I remember how much joy, personal growth, and value I get from deciding to step out of the pretty. My pathway through pretty prompted me to consciously choose which characteristics are important to me, and to actively seek to find the good qualities in others that might not be apparent at first glance. 
Maybe this is why there’s a pretty culture in the first place. Because no one wants the arduous task of finding out who people really are. They simply collect the visible data most readily available to them and base their opinions on that.
Honestly, I’m still finding out what true beauty is. I know a lot about what it’s not. It’s not big baby-blue eyes, or a flat stomach, or naturally dark eyelashes. But as to what it IS, I’m still not sure.  What I do know is that it manifests itself differently in each person. It’s just harder to see than what you see.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

In a toe jam

Think of the most violent class offered here at BYU.

stage combat?


weight training?

intro to wrestling?


the most violent class, bar none, is Intro to social dance.

You would THINK that this would be a relatively painless class, with charming partners, and the opportunity to meet a variety of different people. You'd THINK that it would be an easy A with no homework, and no outside-of-class labs.

you'd think.

But today, I was introduced to the horrifying side of the foxtrot, where most of the trotting is on the other person's foot. As I girl I am at a double disadvantage here because 1. I wear open toed sandals and 2. My partner is the one leading, and therefore stepping forward.

With big, clunky shoes. and a body weight at least twice mine.

While I have been stepped on in the past in this 8:00 class, I happened to get a partner today who decided to switch things up a little and step forward with the opposite foot. every. single. time. I Could feel the crunch of my toenails to the slow-slow-quick-quick beat and tried, watery-eyed to remain smiling.

Then it happened. He stepped with particular vigor on my toes and snnnnnnnnnnnnap.

my toenail had been ripped off.

let me repeat that.

my toenail had been ripped off! 

and I don't think I can get a refund for this class. (sorry, couldn't resist the pun)

my face at this point in time probably looked something like this.

as he didn't know what he had just done and I was trying to be polite. but I felt more like this.
and that face is probably an understatement.

so now, I am the reluctant owner of a naked toe. And as I prefer my toes to be decently clothed in public, it will be a while before I wear sandals again.

So if life gives you lemons and you're supposed to make lemonade, when life jams your toe, are you supposed to make toe jam?

I think I'll stick to strawberry.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

elliptical illusion

Im in love i'm in love and I don't care who knows it!

with whom you ask?

wrong question. I think you mean "with what?" and the answers is......

The elliptical.

This wonderus walk/bike machine has captured my heart with its sleek design, its rythmic movement, and it's 5 minutes away easy access. Yes my friends, I know I've had an on-again-off-again relationship with the treadmill, but I was never prepared to fully commit. It was just so.....needy. I mean, I couldn't help but feel like I was the only one who wanted to slow things down in that relationship. It was just.....moving too fast.

But with this elliptical, I feel like it always wants to go the same pace I do. I feel like I was always pushing the treadmill's buttons, but with the elliptical it's a different story. I know it loves me too because of the continuous flashing heart on the screen.

We're such a happy couple. The only foreseeable bump in our future is that I've also kinda got a thing for Lucky Charms. They don't get along too well together. The elliptical always knows when I've been spending time with Lucky Charms because I need to go slower, and I tend not to visit as much. Oh well. We'll just see how things play out.  

And sadly, this is the extent of my love life at BYU for the time being. 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Tell me the fake truth....Stat!

O.k. so from time to time, I like to look up a little thing called my blog stats. You know, like how many times my blog has been accessed, which web browser people used and so forth.

fun stuff.

Actually, for me it is, because it counts the times I get on here as well (to post entries etc.). So it looks like a lot more people read my blog than actually do.

In fact, I think the WHOLE stats tracker is messed up, because this is what it says about how many hits have come from each country.

United States-----------------1774
Russia ------------------88
Canada ----------------------31
United Kingdom ----------------28
Germany ----------------18
Latvia ----------9
South Korea ---------------------6
Malaysia --------------3
Brazil ------------2
Dominican Republic -------------2   

What the???? 

South Korea? 

I had no idea that my Malaysian 
following was up to a booming
three hits! 

So to all of you foreign friends 
that blogger claims to be
 reading an American college
 student's blog - 


Guten Tag!





Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Things that no one should do at 7:00 in the morning, yet I see people do them every day.

Things No one should do at 7:00 in the morning, yet I see people do them every day. 

Eating at Subway

There are select foods that can be eaten before Noon. 
Cereal, waffles, muffins, omelettes, chocolate milk (let's be honest, there is no wrong time for chocolate milk), oatmeal, fruit, and cold pizza. Note that a Turkey Melt, Roast Beef Dipper, and BLT are not on this list. That is because they do not belong in the world of breakfast. If you insist on bending the rules, you can have a BLT for brunch because of the bacon. but at 7:00 A.M.? never. 

Taking a nap on the library lawn 

You left a perfectly comfortable mattress (albeit slightly sketchy with weird stain in the corner) to sleep on the dewy grass? foolish foolish college student. 
Listening to hard rock/ other loud music 

Once again. Hard, fast, Ican'tunderstandwhatyou'resayingbecauseyou'retalkingsofast music does not belong in the same hours of lovely morning larks. Pre-noon is a time for Jack Johnson, Sarah Barellies, and Mozart. don't pollute your day with obnoxious noisenoisenoise so early in the day. 

Holding Hands  

Please. Keep your budding college whirlwind romance to yourselves, some of us singles are trying to keep our self-esteem, here. Holding hands is too exhausting to do before 3:00 anyway.  

Going to the library 

That familiar little queue waiting at the doors of the library to be the first ones in when it opens. 
I must admit. I love you. 

Trimming the hedges 

those poor poor grounds workers. I can see them looking for a job - ANY job that didn't involve waking up at 4:00 in the morning and sweeping out stairwells. Alas, the stairwells must be clean. And apparently it cannot wait for the sun to come up. 
hats off to you, fellow students. you are cooler than I with my cushy 7:00 A.M wake up schedule. 

I would think of a clever way to end this post, 

but it's much too early. 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A "peak" into college life.

Squaw peak.

Let's be honest. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you don't go to BYU. If you DO know what I'm talking about, then you're probably getting the wrong idea about this post. For those of you who haven't been there, I have conveniently spent a bazillion hours figuring out how to get this lovely picture of squaw peak's view to you.



enjoy it.

It took me forever to figure this out.

Properly Enjoyed? good. 

Now this is the story that goes along with it.

Some of my friends and I went to squaw peak last night. This is a popular place to kiss. Note, however, that we were doing no such lip-y activity. Instead, we were sitting on the roof of my friend's car, listening to music, talking, and enjoying the wonderful view shown above. 

Let's make a long story a little less long. 

So basically, two members of our company went on a hike, and got lost. We were calling their names for what seemed like an hour (many a parked car left during this time due to the ruckus of 5 freshman calling "Julia! Stewart!" all over the mountain.) and when we finally found them (let it be known, it was VERY late) we discovered that playing music from the car for that long had nearly depleated the battery.  

we were livin' on a prayer going down the mountain. 

When we finally got back to campus, everyone but me and another girl (Carla) had gotten dropped off. This is when I realized that I didn't have my Card key. 

This would not be such a big deal if the dorm doors didn't lock at 1:30, making it impossible to get in the dorm without the key. I hadn't been planning to stay out that late and well.....

Long story short, after calling my roommate (who was fast asleep), trying to get a key at the cannon center, which was closed, and trying to think of a plan, I ended up sleeping on a couch on the third level of a different dorm building. 

Thus, I have had my first "peak" into college late-night-life. It was weird, fun, and I LOVED the view (the picture doesn't do it justice) , but next time I'll have to keep in mind that i have 


Friday, September 7, 2012


Today, in an effort to be smooth and talk to a guy, I ended up buying a half gallon of chocolate milk. This takes up half of my fridge space, and I now have to drink it.

Need I Say more?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Goodne$$ Graciou$

The reader's digest version of my financial adventure.

So I wanted to get into a certain Book of Mormon class. I was #1 on the wait-list, but even though I knew people were dropping the class, I wasn't getting put in. These are the lengths to which I tried to get into this class. 

1. went to the Wilk info. center who referred me to the 

2. second floor of the JSB where after 10 minutes I was told to go to the 

3. third floor of the JSB where I was given a 

4. number to call. After five minutes on the phone they gave me a 

5. different number to call. After twenty minutes on the phone with them, they told me that my account was frozen so I 

6. called my mom who

7. called my dad who

8. called the BYU financial center and spent an hour trying to pay my fee. when it was taken care of I
9. called the second number again who told me that it usually took four days for the system to recognize that the account was unfrozen. The lady told me to call back if I hadn't gotten added to the class by the wait-list deadline. So on Monday I 

10. called back, because I hadn't been added. But they were closed for the holiday, so the next morning I 

11. called back again and was on hold with them for half an hour. They finally told me that my account was frozen AGAIN for a different fee, and that the automatic charge to credit card wasn't working. So I 

12. called my mom who 

13. called my dad who 

14. called the financial center AGAIN to try and fix this thing once and for all. Once I was assured that it was paid I 

15. walked to the JSB where the second floor secretary referred me to 

16. the professor's office on the third floor, which he wasn't in so I 

17. went back down to the secretary, got his email address and then 

18. walked to the library to send him an email. 

Bottom line, after all of this, I STILL couldn't get into the class.

and my account is frozen again.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

"Bank"ing on cliche phrases

Do you remember word banks?

Well any of these words matched with their corresponding numbers will complete a sentence that is  likely to be heard out and about campus.

_____________ , ____________ ! I ___________ forgot 
            1                           2                           3

1                             2                           3                                 
Dang                       Man                       Totally                  
Shoot                      Bro                        Honestly                
                               Dude                     Seriously                

that the reading was due today
to ask for his/her number
my key
to bring my meal card
where my family home evening group meets
his/her name


Dang, Bro! I totally forgot my key!

Shoot, Girl! I seriously forgot where my family home evening group meets!


This has been your daily dose of college life

Monday, September 3, 2012

Ice cream, and other frozen things.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

At the heart of my stomach is food.

food glorious food.

These are some of the thoughts going through my head lately. why, you ask? 


thanks for asking.

The food situation is a little different than I expected here at the B-Y-blue.  For one thing, there are desserts EVERYWHERE. If you go to eat at the cannon center, guess what? free ice cream. If you go to a school sponsored dance or activity, guess what? free ice cream. If you go to the cougar-eat or either creamery, guess what? no free ice cream. but very cheap ice cream!
Living here is like living with a spoon full of  ice cream following behind you, and let my tell you my friends, This creamy deliciousness is getting harder to resist. Byu is so keen on ice cream, that they gave our class our own flavor! ("seriously chocolate" which, yes, is basically just chocolate with oreo bits) Oh- and that one was free too.

so i've limited myself to a certain amount of sweets a week for the sake of my wardrobe. the ice cream may be free, but size 18 jeans are not.

Number two weirdness.

The refrigerator.

O.K. so at Helamen halls, every dorm room is equipped with a cute 75 year old mini-fridge. the catch is, there is a little freezer WITHIN the fridge. you know, like a 4 inch by 6 inch box that's supposedly colder than the rest of the fridge? well, our freezer leaks into the fridge creating some pretty unique frozen meals.

my salsa is frozen, my oranges are frozen, my juice is frozen.

My roommate -bless her- put sandwich supplies in the fridge, and ended up having to run her turkey slices under warm water to de-thaw them. don't worry, she drew the line at the cheese. she just rubbed it in a paper towel for a bit until it was semi-malleable.

this, dear readers, is going to be an adventure.