Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Things that no one should do at 7:00 in the morning, yet I see people do them every day.

Things No one should do at 7:00 in the morning, yet I see people do them every day. 

Eating at Subway

There are select foods that can be eaten before Noon. 
Cereal, waffles, muffins, omelettes, chocolate milk (let's be honest, there is no wrong time for chocolate milk), oatmeal, fruit, and cold pizza. Note that a Turkey Melt, Roast Beef Dipper, and BLT are not on this list. That is because they do not belong in the world of breakfast. If you insist on bending the rules, you can have a BLT for brunch because of the bacon. but at 7:00 A.M.? never. 

Taking a nap on the library lawn 

You left a perfectly comfortable mattress (albeit slightly sketchy with weird stain in the corner) to sleep on the dewy grass? foolish foolish college student. 
Listening to hard rock/ other loud music 

Once again. Hard, fast, Ican'tunderstandwhatyou'resayingbecauseyou'retalkingsofast music does not belong in the same hours of lovely morning larks. Pre-noon is a time for Jack Johnson, Sarah Barellies, and Mozart. don't pollute your day with obnoxious noisenoisenoise so early in the day. 

Holding Hands  

Please. Keep your budding college whirlwind romance to yourselves, some of us singles are trying to keep our self-esteem, here. Holding hands is too exhausting to do before 3:00 anyway.  

Going to the library 

That familiar little queue waiting at the doors of the library to be the first ones in when it opens. 
I must admit. I love you. 

Trimming the hedges 

those poor poor grounds workers. I can see them looking for a job - ANY job that didn't involve waking up at 4:00 in the morning and sweeping out stairwells. Alas, the stairwells must be clean. And apparently it cannot wait for the sun to come up. 
hats off to you, fellow students. you are cooler than I with my cushy 7:00 A.M wake up schedule. 

I would think of a clever way to end this post, 

but it's much too early. 


  1. so this is what you were doing when I was trying to visit you:) I missed you but this was a great alternative. I love you Hopie!

  2. I agree with everything! Except - Turkey sandwiches make great breakfast food. :)