Thursday, September 20, 2012

In a toe jam

Think of the most violent class offered here at BYU.

stage combat?


weight training?

intro to wrestling?


the most violent class, bar none, is Intro to social dance.

You would THINK that this would be a relatively painless class, with charming partners, and the opportunity to meet a variety of different people. You'd THINK that it would be an easy A with no homework, and no outside-of-class labs.

you'd think.

But today, I was introduced to the horrifying side of the foxtrot, where most of the trotting is on the other person's foot. As I girl I am at a double disadvantage here because 1. I wear open toed sandals and 2. My partner is the one leading, and therefore stepping forward.

With big, clunky shoes. and a body weight at least twice mine.

While I have been stepped on in the past in this 8:00 class, I happened to get a partner today who decided to switch things up a little and step forward with the opposite foot. every. single. time. I Could feel the crunch of my toenails to the slow-slow-quick-quick beat and tried, watery-eyed to remain smiling.

Then it happened. He stepped with particular vigor on my toes and snnnnnnnnnnnnap.

my toenail had been ripped off.

let me repeat that.

my toenail had been ripped off! 

and I don't think I can get a refund for this class. (sorry, couldn't resist the pun)

my face at this point in time probably looked something like this.

as he didn't know what he had just done and I was trying to be polite. but I felt more like this.
and that face is probably an understatement.

so now, I am the reluctant owner of a naked toe. And as I prefer my toes to be decently clothed in public, it will be a while before I wear sandals again.

So if life gives you lemons and you're supposed to make lemonade, when life jams your toe, are you supposed to make toe jam?

I think I'll stick to strawberry.



  1. Hope, you are toe tally mistaken about the appeal of the bare little piggy! The perceived pedicure problem can be solved by the drawing of a simple smiley face on the unprotected toe. I've done it many times. If you want to keep it a little piggy, you could draw two dots for the nose. Embrace your inner globe, Dear! (once it stops throbbing)! Love you. . . .

  2. Thanks for making my day with your blog! I am sorry about your naked aching toe though!