Saturday, August 27, 2011


Football Fans.

everyone claims to be one.

whether you're a gawky junior high school boy, claiming to like football for the sake of popularity,
a girl, pretending to be interested so that you seem sporty and cute,
or an SBO, pretending to love football for the sake of your position,
everyone seems to be a "football fan"

But how many of these so called "fans" would drive on a bus for 5 hours each way with people they don't know, forced to listen to bad country, just to see their team play in a pre-season game? not. many. but let the record show:

I was there.

i should probably start this out by telling you that i'm not that huge of a football fan. in fact, i'm not sure that i would even pay five dollars to go to a home game. And yet i was there. Why, you ask? that is a good question. Because while i am not a huge "football fan" i AM a die-hard Peter Golding fan, and the opportunity to spend ten hours trapped on a bus with this blonde haired boy was too good to pass up.

but of course it didn't quite turn out that way.

Peter took his own car. (shoot) and i was left shedding a good four pounds of sweat on bus number 335.

i have had WAY too few hours of sleep to describe this wonderful adventure to you (did i mention that we got home at 3:00 A.M.?) so i'll just dish out the highlights.

my ears are withering from over exposure to dangerously loud "Pop Hits" and later on "Classic Country" generously provided by the bus driver.

i have learned the catastrophic consequences of only fueling teenagers with Cheetos and Mavrik "F'real" shakes

The Chiropractor is probably booked for the next year because of teenagers scrunched up on little bus seats, laying down on the hard floors, stretched over the isles, and sleeping on each others shoulders.

i sweated, froze, got rained on, starved, failed to sleep, and had to pay,
my ipod died, my water ran out, my ears blew up, my stomach hurt, my phone shut off, and my space was invaded.

Oh goodness. i wanted adventures and boy did i get one! One down, a million to go.

but despite the previous paragraphs, it was all worth it. we won the game 41-7 (not that i cared a whole bunch) but i really did have fun, got to know more people, and had hilarious moments.

so i guess when life hands you lemons, squeeze it in your "F'real" shake and it can taste pretty sweet.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hi, school!

Teachers are splurging on a $5.00 pedicures, parents are picking over the sale rack at Shopko, and students are treating ''classes" like a disgusting swear word. It's that time again.

time to go




For those of you who are not high school age, you can tell by the cheesy back-to-school-shopping commercials where the kids go to K-Mart and suddenly emerge on the first day of school looking like rock stars. I went to K-Mart once, but apparently, their instant-fashion-model-machine was on the fritz, and all they had left were some ill-fitting hello kitty shirts.

in the spirit of the new year i thought it would be appropriate to make a list of all the wisdom i have acquired as a high school student.

1.When someone says "I like your outfit" it doesn't actually mean they like your outfit.

2. "Forever" lasts about two weeks. (encompassing everything from "best friends forever" to "i'll love you forever")

4. When you figure out which teachers don't actually read your essays, every class can be a creative writing class!

5.if you think that cheap cologne will remedy the smell of your B.O. after're very wrong.

6. cheerleader wears sweats = cute and athletic. Geek wears sweats = gross and lazy.

7. always have something to fiddle with when you go down the hall in the middle of class. otherwise you have to do the awkward half glance-quarter turn move when you pass the only other person in the hall. fake texting is acceptable.

8. bands you must say you like = Led Zepplin, the Beatles, Bob Marley. Bands you may never admit to liking = Justin Bieber, The Jonas brothers, anyone that started out on Disney Channel.

9. when conversing with boys you have to use terms that they will understand, like "Call of Duty" "Football" or "eating". avoid words like "relationships" or "feelings"

10. just smile, you'll get through it.

ahhhhhhhhh high school. can't live with it, can't go to college without it.

this is going to be a great year.

Lights! Camera! wait.

A few days ago i finished a book about learning how to "live a better story." you know, like if your life was a movie, would critics give it two thumbs up, or rather chop their thumbs off than be forced to sit through it?

(i will now give you time to ponder this concept)

that's what i was thinking! my story is much to boring! so i decided to have a go at a more adventurous life.

my first attempt was to book a flight to California the next day. i planned out my transportation, my hotel, my flight, and my food. that's all you need and you're ready to go, right?


turns out, a trip that spontaneous takes some serious moolah. almost $1,000. yipes.
so then i decided that instead, i would try to get to California with only a tank of gas and $38.00, relying on crazy opportunities, the kindness of others, and my 17-year-old intellect. sounds like a good plan, right?

wrong again.

the parents pulled the plug on this one. they said it was "much to dangerous" and anyone who wanted to do something like that would be "out of their mind".
i'm not out of my mind, just bored out of my mind!!

for my third attempt, i threw the whole California idea into the recycling bin, (i'm going green) and settled on going to St. George by myself . my grandparents have a condo there, it doesn't take too long to drive, and most importantly- i won't have to take out a second mortgage on my barbie house to cover the cost. primo! right?

wrong x 3

apparently i had a doctor's appointment in two days, and i couldn't move it. therefore, i was to stay firmly planted in Salt Lake soil for the week.

lame sauce.

so i had to be content with getting my friend, dressing up as princesses, and having a tea party with our stuffed animals at the capitol building, complete with juice boxes as tea, and Golden Grahms as crumpets. (at eleven o' clock at night of course)

oh dear, it seems like living an interesting story may be harder than i thought........but i'll make it work.

for now pip pip, cheerio!

emergen-c post

May i just say that i am writing this post despite the fact that i am violently ill?!?! (sore throat and runny nose) you know this is true because i'm writing at 6:30....A.M!! since the rare Hope-apotumus is usually nocturnal, and doesn't wake up until at least know this is a special occasion.
the special occasion was this: i was inspired. (that and i was laying wide away in my bed due to severe nostril discomfort). and when i am inspired, my fingers run themselves on over to the nearest keyboard. (luckily only computer keyboards, because if they ran over to normal keyboards...the music world would shun me forever.)

so please enjoy this flemmy edition of my life.

Last night, at two in the morning i was driving around (in my glamorous mini-van) trying to find a grocery store that was open 24 hours, so that i could buy some emergen-c.

definition: emergen-c: nasty flavored vitamin C that has an outrageous amount of yuck for it's small package. you just dissolve into water and chug away!

so i was driving (vroom vroom, and other various car noises) when i realized that No grocery stores are open past 12:00!! What is this??? what about late night ice cream runs? who's going to help the 2:00 A.M. Dorito addicts? what happened to the American dream??

So i drove my disgruntled tush all over the city. (to no avail) but i did- in fact receive a new bit of information that i think i will find quite useful.

driving at night is fantastic.

it's nice to climb in the enclosed haven of a vehicle, full of warm, welcoming air when it's so chilly outside, turn on a little classical music, and drive through the deserted streets, dominating the stop signs, and watching the beautiful masterpiece painted on the streets from different streetlamps and stoplights. this oddly peaceful sensation is heightened by the sheer fact that most people are asleep, when the city is most beautiful, and the atmosphere most peaceful. every fellow late night driver you come in contact with seems to be in the same secret night-time club. you feel a strange sense of friendship with them as you wonder where they're headed at such a late hour.

yes, my friends, i did indeed fail to find a purchasable packet of "this tastes nasty" but i did, however uncover one of the night's most precious secrets, and intend to go on midnight drives more often.

now i must blow my nose before it throws a fit. its an emergen-c.

in---vest---ing in safety

If you have ever stayed up late wondering "What in the World does Hope do at 11:00 At Night?" look no further.

Apparently, at precisely eleven, i can be found riding my flat tire-ed beach cruiser up a hill, while wearing a tragically hideous reflector vest.

that's right. i said re-flec-tor vest.

how did this come to be? i'm glad you asked. the power of the parent, my friends, the power of the parent.

the power of the parent is this: they can ask their children to do outrageously unnecessary and often humiliating things all in the name of "safety"

ahhhhhh the big "Safety" claim. believe it or not- two tear olds have been put on leashes, families have worn matching SPAM shirts, and bicycles have been adorned with bright red flags, all in the name of "safety." sometimes i think that parents do things "for our benefit" when they just really need a good laugh. i mean, a reflector vest for a teenager? this was their argument.

Me: i'm going on a bike ride
Dad: not at 11:00, you're not.
Me: we live in the safest neighborhood, and no one even drives at night!
Mom: ok you can go......IF

IF is the most dangerous word to escape a mothers lips. whenever you hear it......brace yourself

Mom:IF you wear a reflector vest

At this point in the story, the words "reflector vest" seemed to be formed in slow motion as the camera zoomed in on her mouth. reeee---fleeec----torrrr----veeeest. and the creepy Psycho music screeched in the background.
Me: No. way.

Dad: then you can't go on a bike ride
Me: fine. i'll wear it.

And that is how i ended up on this fantastical journey of humiliation thinking please don't know me, please don't know me at every car that came speeding toward me. but upon reflection (haha) i figure, all the boys wish their girlfriends were as safe as me.

safety is dang attractive.
even in a vomitrocious reflector vest made in the 80's.

i know you're jealous.

Snacks for thought

have you ever contemplated the possibilities of the human mind?

it is said that we use less than ten percent of our Brain (3% if you believe fictional movies starring Bill Murray).

But seriously.

the mind is what controls all of our bodily functions, so if we access a larger percentage can we raise and lower our temperatures at will? can diet-crazed-women speed up their metabolism through mere thought? can penetrating the inner workings of your own mind give you an actual Star Wars like "force" to move things. (oh come on, you KNOW that you've half believed the cookies would fly to your hands if you concentrated hard enough)

i have often wondered if you could recall lost memories, and see them in your mind as vividly as if they were taking place at that moment, or choose your dreams, or grow your toenails faster all by the power of the mind. if we only use 10%, then what is the other 90 capable of?

we have possibly limitless control over things we have never been able to master. our minds could potentially change our appearances, our moods, our technology, and our overall quality of life!

and most people sit around playing halo.


pizza. if you take a poll of 100 children from ages 4-13, at least 28 of them will say that their favorite food is pizza. this is why i take this cheesy-tomato-dish so seriously. it is nourishing the future politicians and bakery shop owners of America, people!!

well anyways, last night i walked into a quaint little cafe where the specialty was none other than ...... PIZZA! what a joy, what an absolute delight!.........until i tasted it.

when my private-personal-all-to-myself-pizza arrived i took a bite from the steaming hot cheesefullness and......

it was delicious.

then again, i assume that anything is delicious after two hours of whale watching and suchness. i really just had nothing to say today and wanted to make something sound dramatic.

well there you go. my dramatic pizza story straight from the oceanside. live it, love it. send it to your pizza loving chumulates.

*that statistic was 100% made up in my brain-of-all-brains, so do not feel let the lie-fullness of my ill researched stat ruin your day.

THE END of another adventure. (kinda)

Cal-i-for-nia girl.

foam washing up on my feet
sand in my toes
sunshine sitting on my cheeks
the pier at night
sunset on the balcony
reading on the beach
salty air and laughing toddlers-

welcome to californian paradise!

someone cue the cute surfer dude to come sweep me off my feet! actually, scratch that. this is a good place to get away from boys-


to get away from everything that i'm trying to cut back on in my life
boys, Peter, facebook, phone, distractions, yatta and a second yatta.

this is my isolation haven! whoop whoop!

so here's the plan home-skillet-
i'm gonna write every day (much to your dismay, even when i'm far away, i might reference a filet, from the first of march to may, you can't know what i will say!)

this can be a new beginning! like a wave washing away my old lifestyle and revealing the new. down with idleness! down with complacency! i am a new woman, re-charged and ready! (cue whoopings and hollering from the peanut gallery)

do you pick up what i'm throwing down? are you shizzle with the Rizzle? do you hear what i'm spittin out, soul sister?

alright, good. streaming live from sunny Oceanside, this is Hope, signing off.

Shpagetti noodles

In the beginning......

Once upon a time......

A long time ago in a land far away.....

it was a dark and stormy night.....

alright, it wasn't a dark and stormy night. In fact it wasn't even a single isolated night. or day. or year. that's why i'm having such a difficult time deciding how to begin. because there wasn't really a beginning, but i sure-as-macaroni hope there's an ending.

my life seems to be a mess of tangled spaghetti at the moment. and not the good kind of spaghetti either, it's the kind that sat too long in the water, so it nasty and water logged and falling apart.

falling apart, my friends.

Firstly there's the whole college shabloodle. y'know, the ol' decide where to apply and then spend too many painful hours working and reworking and adding a story and cutting a paragraph and scratching the whole thing and picking it out of the trash to wipe off the scum and redo it all over again.

very much looking forward to it.

speaking of senior year i am taking four, count them FOUR a.p. classes. yippity skippity. and on top of that i am trying SO VERY hard to change my highschool, which is a pioneering effort by the way. and my principal is little more than passive about it. and i really don't want to upset anyone by doing it, which is a very real possibility since i ran for student government and lost. upsetting people would not do well to encourage a good reputation which apparently is becoming worse and worse seeing as how i got TOILET PAPERED for the first time EVER last night.

this is good for my self esteem.

well anyways that's my life in a nutshell. which fits because i've been acting like a nut lately. but whatever, i'll just sit and stand and walk and talk and sleep and eat and play a little chess, i'll wash and smell and brush my teeth with this annoyingly unyeilding weight because, based on the reflections of people in my life, and specifically the ones i love the most,

i am an insanely inadequate slug trying to take on the world.

The Verdict is in

the answer was


I wasn't important enough. we didn't talk.he doesn't care. we won't go anywhere. he isn't interested.

thanks for asking.

what sort of Sick person is writing the script for my life?

Director:OK OK everybody! stop chattering at once, stop-chattering-at-once-now-we-gotta-get-goin. who's got an idea?

Bert: Ok so Hope and Peter are sitting in the car right? so they...

Director: i-love-it-i-love-it. OK where-can-we-go-with-it?anybody-got-any-ideas-c'mon-any-ideas?

Bert:Well like i was saying Hope and Peter are finally discussing the bitter endings of their new relationship, which is just the sort of thing Hope has been wanting to do, when....

Director: nice direction bert, nice,i like the whole car thing but whose got something new? something fresh? something-piping-hot-right-out-o'-the-ol'-oven-who-feels-me-who-feels-me-Leonard-whaddaya-got-for-me?

Leonard: sitting in the car when.....he suddenly has to go home.....

Director:has to go home urgent-urgent yeah i like it. conflict-in-the-story-yeah-i-like-it-but-where-does-it-lead?what's-this-whole-shaboodle-all-about? talktome talktome Jim!

Jim: audience is wondering if they're going to see eachother the next day, before she leaves on a three and a half week can interrupt, that's all i got.

Director: nicenice, wonder. intrigue. is-he-gonna stay?is-he-gonna go? true?false?bond?free?male?female? i see where you're goin with this but what's the twist? what's the fresh-outta-daisy-scheme here? c'mon-c'monpeople let's-get-to-it, Lenord back to you, let's go!

Lenord: so he says "we can talk tomorrow, but i've told like seven people that so i might not remember" then he smiles

Director. Smile! Smile! the ladies love the smile, i just think-we-gotta-....

Bert: and then he asks her a question totally non-re.....

Director: Hey!hey! i'm the only one who inturrupts around here!.......................carry on.

Bert: asks a totally non related question like say, i dunno... what did you get on the ACT, and she won't tell him and he's frustrated cause he doesn't get his answers and she doesn't get hers, so they uh...decide to swap answers the next day! but he has a tendency to forget...

Director: the big question! is she important enough? will he remember? will he have the guts to bring it up? will they even talk? what questions will she ask? good work fellas good-work-my-boys. that's enough for one day, we'll just present the conflict and cut to commercial break.

the EX factor

When you go bowling, getting a Strike is the ideal. your friends cheer, and a huge "X" pops up on the screen, indicating your success.

I have recently learned, that when your dating, Striking out is the worst case scenario. your friends shake their head, and there seems to be a huge "Ex" that pops up on your forehead, indicating your failure. X as in do not enter. X as in unacceptable. Ex as in "no longer dating Ryan Westover"

X as in mistake.

That awful little "Ex" seems to follow me everywhere, changing my possibilities with Peter from innocent "his girlfriend" to sleazy "his on-again-off-again"

...and that's best case scenario.
IF we date again.
which we won't, because of this cute little X that i wear around like the scarlet letter.

I never liked that letter anyway. nothing starts with the letter X, and preschool teachers have to resort to drawing pictures of xylophones for their alphabet art.

nobody uses xylophones.

Oh well. welcome to living life with "The X factor"........the Ex factor.

Extra Ordinary

you've probably passed me on the street. you know, that girl who isn't in a fashion magazine, hasn't published a book, and never gets mistaken for a famous actress, but also clips her nails, loves her pizza, and probably has a decent job.

that's me.

that ordinary girl that you've seen a hundred million times, and probably live two blocks away from, without knowing it.

it seems like there are a lot of people like me in this world, and i keep waiting for the revolution of ordinary people. for the day when the guy at the hot dog stand wins American Idol, or the lady at Wal Mart goes on Oprah. but it never happens.

it's not because we don't have any significant thoughts, or hopes or dreams, but because we've been wedged into a rut. a comfortable rut of contentedness, and we feel like if life is going fine, why rock the boat?

but i'm sick of it.

I don't care if the boat flips over. i hope it does, and turns everything upside down. Ordinary people may ask themselves "what's wrong with living an adequate life" I'll tell you what's wrong. adequate doesn't mean extraordinary. why settle for less when you can have everything?

people say "shoot for the moon" i say shoot for Jupiter! shoot for Pluto! shoot for galaxies that haven't even been discovered yet! people who say "the sky's the limit" have no imagination. there is not limit! from now on, i am no longer Ordinary,

i am chasing the extraordinary.