Sunday, January 27, 2013

The seven habits of highly Hope-ful people.

You may or may not have been to your public library lately. If you have, you may or may not have been to the self-help section. While there, you may or may not have come across a very famous book entitled

No, no, no I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I'm not going to motivate you. I'm going to let you sit right there and stare blankly at the computer screen, barely taking in anything I'm saying, wondering what's for dinner tomorrow. (what IS for dinner tomorrow?)

The reason I bring this up is because I would like to share with you the Seven Habits of Highly Hope-ful People.

Please do not confuse this with "the Seven Habits of Highly hopeful People." The two are very different. The habits listed below will probably not make you any more hopeful than you already are. they WILL however, make you more like Hope, because they are the weird habits I can't seem to kick.

If you would like to be more Hope-ful, follow these simple habits.

1. Go to bed at 11:00. If you can't fall asleep until 3:00, sneak downstairs into the music practice room and do 100 jumping jacks. Then jump all the way up the stairs. If you're not tired now, repeat at 4:30
(picture just in case you don't know how to do a jumping jack....) 

2.Whenever you're in the almost-always-empty-stairway, belt out all the lyrics you can remember from Les Miserables. try to make showstopping renditions of "I dreamed a dream" and "on my own.".......I haven't really figured out if people can hear me yet, but if they can, I hope they're getting a great ab workout from laughing

3. don't throw anything away. ever. you never know when you might need that pair of flowery shoelaces that you haven't worn for 4 years. And that piece of ribbon used to tie your birthday present from the guy you liked freshman year is part of a great memory! get the point. It's getting pretty bad, I'm starting to feel sentimental toward my gum wrappers. So if you want to become more hopeful, we can all be on the next edition of "hoarders" together.

4. find a song/band/album that you really love and listen to them nonstop until you hate them. here's a little starter kit for you (my current favorite song)

repeat 847 times.

5. talk to yourself while you're walking to class. Don't be turned off by the weird looks you get from normal people who aren't nearly a Hope-ful as you.
TIP: when you're not talking to yourself, narrate the conversation in your head with exaggerated facial expressions. then laugh out loud when you realize what you're doing.....seriously, I do this ALL the time

6. When someone upsets you, write 7 limericks to them. by that time, it just seems funny because you realize you have to rhyme "scummy" with "tummy."
my morning was 'specially scummy
cause I was cut off by a dummy
and as I drove off
well I tried not to scoff
at his big purple alien tummy.

doesn't that just put a little spring in your step?

7. Eat ice cream whenever possible. even in the cold. in the snow. at night. when you feel like you're living in an igloo located in the middle of a frozen arctic's always a good time for ice cream.

*please consult with your physician before attempting any of the aforementioned ideas as they can cause loss of friends, decreased hearing, insomnia, obesity, tone-deafness, and or solitude.   

1 comment:

  1. As I said, try barbecue starter fluid on your hoarded treasures, toss in a match, and belt out I dreamed ... While waving cones in both hands. Steven Covey died young, so beware of effective habits; they may be terminally effective.