Oprah.....er i mean Hope's favorite things! (2012 edition)

For those of you who do not watch Oprah (me being one of those), I will give you a little background. At the end of every Year, (don't quote me on this, she might not still do it) Oprah spends a whole show giving away her favorite things of that year to every single audience member. If you want a little taste of what it's like here ya go.

yes. If you are rich enough, you can make grown men cry at will.

So it's time for (drumroll please)

Hope's Favorite Things!!!!!!! 

*note: I will not actually give you any of these things, but I WILL give you a digital picture as a speacial treat for your eyes.

Favorite thing of 2012 #1: 

Turkey Bacon club on Sourdough bread with no Mayonnaise from the Blue Line Deli at BYU!



                           
How many omnivores do we have out there? Then you'll love this Hope-modified Blue Line classic! By far the most ordered sandwich at BYU, with reduced fat thanks to the exclusion of mayo! AND I can pay for it with my meal card so it's super convenient! Come down to BYU, and I may ACTAULLY buy you this favorite thing (due to the fact that I have to spend a certain quota by the end of the sememster) 

Favorite thing of 2012 #2: 

How many times has this happened to YOU? you're sitting in your dorm room at 10:45 P.M. thinking all you're homework's done when you realalize "Ah! I have to write a paper/ check my email/ submit my response on digital dialoge/ other school related activity that can only be compleated online?" Which is when you remember that your parents aren't letting you have a computer this semster.

Well. Have no fear. You MAY think that you have to walk all the way to the library (15 min. ) when in fact, you can zip on over to the tanner building computer lab! (9 min)!!! this is why my second favorite thing of 2012 is

The Tanner Building Computer Lab!



Favorite thing of 2012 #3: 

Tuacan's productions of Hairspray and Aladdin!

Sorry, you're too late to see them, but rest assured they were FANTASTIC!



Favorite thing of 2012 #4 

This one came early in the year. January 6th in fact!
(super drum roll)
......

Manicure/pedicures!!!!

Want a relaxing, luxurious, typically nice-smelling afternoon in your choice of color? I strongly recommend a mani-pedi to get the job done! 


Although I may not recommend going with me, as I laugh loudly when anyone touches my toes.

Favorite Thing of 2012 #5

Heritage tours!

A 3 week trip from Utah to New York and Back. You stop at all the church history sights, spend about 8 hours on a bus (per day), and have the time of your life (with the best people you'll ever meet!) strongly recommended for graduated high school seniors



Favorite Thing of 2012 #6 

NEW BABY NEPHEWS!!

I'm sorry, but these cannot typically be purchased at local convenience stores. they're a very rare, and very costly gift. Fortunately for me, I don't care If I have to change a few diapers because they're so dang cute! 



Need I say more?

Favorite thing of 2012 #7 

New York, New York

 

Strongly recommended. Will live there someday
Broadway play Spiderman....Also highly recommended 

Favorite thing of 2012 #8 

Graduating from High School.


 Not that I didn't love High School. In fact, I ADORED high school (for the most part), but it was a bitter sweet time to move on. I recommend this, but only one per lifetime.

Favorite thing of 2012 #9 
Starting College!
 love love love love love love college.



Favorite thing of 2012 #10: 

Always the best.
At the Top of my List.
with a hip hip hooray, and a shish boom bah.
My friends and family.
Old and new, young and wrinkly,  bald or flowy blue hair, I LOVE them, and if Oprah knew them, they would be her favorite things too.

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Happy new year!

What's up, Doc?

The deed is done.

I was overwhelMED with what seeMED like an unwelcoMED obligation. But now, the DOCumentation is done. I may not have been DOCile, but I was taMED.

Explanation: I'm putting in my papers to go on a mission for the Mormon church, and part of that process requires that I get a doctor to sign off on a bunch of things to basically state I am healthy. It should be one question with two check boxes, right?

 HEALTHY Yes ___  No__ 

But instead, it consists of a bunch of words that I may or may not understand, and most definitely can't pronounce.

Quick Question: when was the last time you had your amylace tested?

You get the picture. So here's the story.

CHAPTER 1 

Urine Luck 

Upon arrival (well... like 40 minutes after my arrival, when they actually brought me to the doctor) They asked me if I could give them a urine sample. As I had just gone to the bathroom, I then proceeded to drink about four tons of water from the tap via little paper cups that hold up for 1.5 uses.....water starts to kind of taste bad after a while

CHAPTER 2

Weight For Me

I'm not sure how this slipped through the cracks of my blog subjects, but I have recently finished an intense three week food cleanse. Bottom line, "cleanse" is not "diet" and my doctor rounded my weight UP on the missionary sheet.

CHAPTER 3 

Taking Shots.....Mormon Style 

You know that you're in for a treat when the person giving you shots is less than a month older than you are, and keeps dropping the needle. How did I know how old she was? It was her birthday today. Granted, I should cut her some birthday slack, but it still made me a little antsy that it took her 40 seconds to successfully open a band-aid. She gave me a flu shot, and  TB test (yes, this requires a needle) that I have to get read in 48-72 hours (so if you happen to be a doctor.....) I'm not really sure if she did it right, but until my arm goes numb and develops a weird bump I'm going to assume yes. The main complaint was that there were no colored band-aids. Shot-giving blasphemy.

CHAPTER 4 

a faint smell of blood 

Now we're getting to the good stuff. AFTER I had gotten two needles poked into me that I didn't expect, I was informed that I would have to get my blood drawn. 

This was not a happy moment.

I went obediently down to the chamber of horror, which was cleverly disguised as a health lab. The masquerade went so far as to dare to play Christmas music in the waiting room.What kind of sick (no pun intended) place was this?

When my name was called and I entered the room of doom, I saw the nurse.

Real conversation between HOPE and NURSE

NURSE: Hello! I'm the one who's going to draw you today

HOPE: Are you a good artist?

NURSE: ????

I guess my humor is lost on people who make others cry for a living. Or maybe laughing makes veins constrict.

I kid, she was actually very pleasant. And when she couldn't find a vein, the girl she brought in to help her was equally pleasant.

Apparently, I have veins so small that they have to use a baby needle on me. and not baby as in "small" baby as in the same needle they use on actual babies. No wonder they cry so much, that thing takes forever to draw blood!

somewhere in this 40 minute---yes FORTY MINUTE endeavor, when they were poking around for a vein, I started to feel very woooooooooooosy, and my vision did a little of this


and I thought that I might  but as there was no prince charming to catch me, I decided to tell them to take the needle out of my arm instead. which they promptly did, and then layed me down while I fought nausea.

When I was recovered, the second nurse tried again, trying to pin down my "roll-y veins" and when she finally finally got one, I made her tell me the story of her first kiss, which was actually quite funny.


And they all drove woozily ever homeward,
                                                                      Then End. 

baby, baby, baby.

JUST IN case you're wondering, this is what we do during Christmas break.


That is all.

Ways I procrastinate studying for finals......in limerick form

H. Potter just sits on the shelf,
I'm cringing, restraining myself.
and try as I might
I can't go the night
without reading of Dobby the elf.

selections of fruit in a bowl.
distract me from reaching my goal
I eat nine or ten,
neglecting me pen
if I fail, I fail while full.

my nephews cry into the night
and I'm trying my best to sleep tight
But I'm never repelled
when they need to be held.
So I hope what i'm doing is right

watching a movie sounds fun
but i know that i'm under the gun
if it's christmas in theme,
and my head's all a-dream
can it hurt if I put in just one?

my room is quite messy it's true,
but i can't waste my time sorting shoes,
then again, can it hurt,
if I vacuum up dirt ?
it may kick my old studying blues.

too lazy to go for a jog
but my brain is all up in a fog.
I need to waste time
so I'll think of some rhymes
and then post it for views on my blog.

FINALly.

It's the final countdown for the final finals.

well, not the FINAL final finals, as those will come years in the future, but rather the first final finals. finally.

Sadly, all of my teachers opted to do their jobs this year, and give finals that individually make me queasy, and cumulatively almost paralyze me.

Not only that, but I also have a few major papers due in addition to the finals. that's right. in addition. as in, "not subtraction but --------"

I thought that it would be nice of you to help me study for my tests, as I don't have a study buddy. you will? you're the best! O.k. here we go.









you're supposed to ask me the question, and I'll answer.








not feeling talkative? O.k. well how about this. how about instead we play........(cue the neon lights and obnoxious show host).......are you smarter than a college freshman?!? (applause) Alright round one:

social dance:

The "cuddle" is a move from which dance learned this semester?

1.foxtrot
2. cha cha
3. waltz
4. swing
5. none of the above. it's what you do when it's cold outside.



and the answer is........4!!!! yes, the cuddle is an actual dance move from the popular genre of swing!

Civilization 1 (aka the pen and the sword): 
mark the most correct answer

1. women should not be allowed in the military
2. women should be allowed to sign up voluntarily for the draft, and to be on the front lines of war as long as they so desire and pass a skills and fitness test
3. women should be allowed in the military but not in the draft
4. women should make up 50% or more of the army, and fight on the front lines of war
5. women are part magnetic, and attract bullets. therefore they should not be allowed to be in artillery combat


the answer for this one is (yes, there is a right answer)...........2! And i just spent the past two days writing a ten page paper supporting this.....ok, fine I suppose it's an opinion.

Social Sciences 
the most common place to randomly meet a lot of people is

1. the library
2. your dorm lobby
3. snooping about the upperclassmen housing
4. the food lines at the Wilk
5. false. because it hurts to walk in high heels.

the answer is..................5!.........O.k. actually it's four, but when I take tests at the testing center, I feel like that happens a lot with the multiple choice questions. they totally talk about something unrelated and then are correct. now days I just bubble in BEAD CAB BAD BED over and over again. surprisingly, I'm not doing too BAD.

o.k. enough trivia for today. so, are YOU smarter than a college freshman?

regardless of how you answered the questions, the answers is probably yes, because I, at least, am running on about 4 hours of sleep, and a lot of aca-dreneline. you know, that adrenaline rush that comes when finals arrive?

well, until next time, my scholarly chums, I'll be here if you need me. just decaying away at the same spot in the library.....

maybe slip me some food once in a while. or at least water my plant.




And also, I got a new phone so if you could text me your number that would be great (I have the same number, just a new phone)
 

Back in Black

 I'm dreaming of a black friday
When I can show off what I bought
where the deals shine
and shoppers whine
'bout parking...way across the lot

I'm dreaming of black Friday
with every credit card I swipe
may your bags be heavy, not light
and may all your purchases fit right.

Tis' the season. And I mean seasoning on apple pie. The holly is hung by the chimney with care, the radio station is playing twelve different renditions of "the twelve days of Christmas," and college students are raiding the D.I. for ugly Christmas sweaters.

Of course, to start the season off right, you must first get through black Friday successfully.



You're probably wondering......actually you're probably not wondering but I'm going to tell you anyway, what I think about black Friday starting on Thursday this year.

Blasphemy.

I'm going to go ahead and pretend like it started today because for me, it did.

Now, my parents did a first-rate job at protecting me from the world of black Friday. I must admit that I didn't know such a thing existed until about 2 years ago. This was probably in an effort to avoid 1:00 A.M. doorbusters with an enthusiastic shopper-daughter. Well played mom and dad.

But I have since realized that the early early morning is not the time to go anyway. Which brings us to our Black Friday tips.

1. Don't go for those "early bird specials." (unless, of course, you want electronics. In that case, you might as well spend thanksgiving camped out, honey.)---Go at a time when most of the crazies have come, raided, and left with a few "disturbing the peace" tickets. This means about 3:00 P.M.

YOU: what??? most of the goods will be gone by then

ME: Stores plan pretty well for Black Friday. I'm talking major stocking up. they have enough clothes to replace them regularly and By 3:00 the crazies have been escorted off the premises, the teenagers who stayed up all night are taking naps, and the 3-year old needs lunch, removing stroller-mom from the scene.

3:00 is prime time, my friends.

2. The mall. The mall is your best friend today, I promise. Too many other people try to go to individual stores. If the store doesn't have what they came for, they feel like they can't leave without buying something because it will feel like they wasted a lot of time to go to that specific store (which it did.)  =  fewer things for you at said store  =  mall is best option.  


3. Let's try to avoid participating in this




              

 









let's try to show a little decorum, people.

4. avoiding the cart people.

you know the ones.

the ones who look like this
 
with their big pleading eyes. And you start to think that maybe you DO need poor quality, neon green hair extensions.

STOP! do not get sucked in to the 500 lotion/phone case/ decorative candy carts at the mall! you need to walk straight ahead, eyes forward, with a sense of purpose. these mall cart merchants can smell hesitancy.

5. gift cards.
Hit the places where you have gift cards first, because, hey. You have to spend money there anyway, right? It's also an opportune time to break out those gift cards with 60 cents left on them. You just have to ask if you can buy something with the money on the card, and then pay the rest with cash.

Today is the day to do it because there is no way the cashier will ever remember you after seeing an army of well-dressed shoppers coming in all day, and s/he won't have the energy left to give you the stink eye.

6. listen to Christmas music whenever possible. It helps curb the anger toward people who can't decide if they're a size 2,4,6,8,10, or 12, and therefore feel the need to take the whole pile to the dressing room.


Yes, my friends, the unofficial holiday celebrating violence, selfishness, and buying for yourself when you promised to buy for others.

but if you're going to do it, do it right. 

Hey baby, lets cuddle.

Love is difficult thing.

Poets try to capture it in stanzas, directors in the course of a two hour movie, and writers fill volumes with definitions of love and what it encompasses. I have recently found myself learning the ways of true love, and am about to add my contribution to the artistic society, by trying to capture it in one little blog post. Nay, a single question. 

Would you be upset if the one you loved peed on you at 2 in the morning? 

If the answer is yes, it's not true love. 

also, spit up, dirty diapers, and screaming fall into this category. 

Who do I love that frequently spits milk and formula on my cute sweaters? someone very special indeed. two someones in fact. 

that's right, my baby nephews John-John and Brig. 

wait, wait, wait. I know what you're thinking. That I have finally joined the realms of true blogging, which is to say----> women with too much time on their hands bragging about their families. 

EX: Mark just did the cutest thing today. he said "Gala!" It was so cute! usually he just says "ga" and occasionally, its "lala" but he just expanded his vocabulary! I think it means mama, but Jace insists it's dada. We'll see. I'll update you tomorrow on any changes on "gala." It won't be long before it's "laga" or even "mama!" 

yeah. don't worry about that.  I may be baby-love struck, but I promise that my blog will stay collegically sane.  No promises about when I have my own babe, but that won't be for quite a while. 

So basically my nephews are my little cuddle bugs, which is rare because....well.......I'd say that I could count the number of boys I've ever cuddled with on one hand, but that would imply that there had been at least one. Not really sure how to feel about that whole situation. Must research farther. 

O.k. I'm a little bit tempted to go on for 897520 pages about how cute B and the J-man are, but you can see for yourselves. 

Baby

Babies

Babies babies babies babies

los chicos conmigo 

Enough said. 

On an unrelated topic, I have a new temptation. At the Tanner building cafe, there is a sign above the cash register that says "we accept all forms of payment." I am incredibly tempted to try and barter with something crazy like hair elastics. I find a million hair elastics on the ground at the BYU, and I'm sure that if I started picking them up, I would have more than enough to buy a turkey bacon club with no mayo. 

Regardless of the explicit sign however, I'm 80% sure that they would just laugh nervously and clarify that it has to be a type of standardized money. Of course, I would just return with spanish pesos. If they specified American money then I would have to resort to using 930 pennies and so on. I guess weeks and weeks of tests/papers/quizzes has turned me into a little bit of a rebel. 

But hey, I like to live on the wild side, baby.